Do you find yourself feeling uninspired or unmotivated lately? Or maybe you’ve been feeling this way for long stretches of your life? Do you feel unfulfilled?
It may be time to put in some work and dig deep to really understand the purpose behind the things you are currently doing!
The things we do usually fulfill one or more of the following 6 human needs:
1. Certainty (Job, family, home)
2. Variety / uncertainty (Activities, sports,)
3. Significance (Job, being a husband, father, brother)
4. Love / connection (Girlfriend/wife, family)
5. Growth (Goals, relationships)
6. Contribution (Charity, volunteer work, maybe our job)
They all play a significant role in how we manage our emotional state.
Take for instance, if you spend most of your time watching TV and eating junkfood, you’re unlikely growing (growth usually results from activities and experiences); you’re unlikely developing connections with others and contributing to outside causes. You’re also unlikely going to have variety in your life and it’s difficult to feel significant if you aren’t contributing to anything outside of those four walls.
The thing to keep in mind is that the priorities of the 6 needs change from time to time and over time. That’s because our lives are constantly changing — new job, new goals, new perspectives, new people coming in/out of our life.
The key is to understand them and manage them in such a way that we feel balanced.
The kind of questions you should be asking yourself are:
1. Am I living with purpose and meaning?
2. Am I growing and making progress in the areas of my life that are important to me?
3. Do I value something other than myself? (i.e. Do I contribute to other causes and the lives of other people?)
If your answers to those questions are “yes” then congratulations, you understand the meaning of happiness and you’re generally in a great emotional state! Then what you are experiencing may be temporary stress or anxiety related to your job or family/friends. That’s normal.
If your answers are “no” then I encourage you to re-evaluate your value system and to develop a strong belief system to support the changes that are needed.
What I mean is you need to believe that you can change your current situation and it starts with visualizing a compelling future — you need to feel like you are working towards something (your purpose or mission). That image should include things that cover the needs discussed above. Be very specific — specific activities you want to work on and/or introduce, people you want to build stronger connections with, etc. Nothing replaces action, so once you have identified the areas you want to work on, go to work! And don’t let a fall or roadblock stop you from continuing on.
As the great Tony Robbins once said:
“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.”
Believe me when I say that it’s a life-long journey! So keep working at it and the key is to focus on growth and progress.
I welcome all feedbacks! Your questions, perspectives and advice would greatly contribute towards my growth and enable me to better serve others!